How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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