what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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