Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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