yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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