you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
