If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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