nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
