all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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