I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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