you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
