That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
