I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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