Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
