I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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