Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
