She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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