haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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