love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
