she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
