I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I didn't notice because vodka
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Terrible idea I love it
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
