By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize