I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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