He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
