uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
