Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize