girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
