Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
