There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
now i know why i became what i already was.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
