so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
