Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
