I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
