you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize