When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
