Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
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