Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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