I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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