dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is it because I queefed?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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