dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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