I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
