you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
