You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
