the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
