her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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