Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
