I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
