physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
