just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
