they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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