Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
they're like a gay fantastic four
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
