this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
