A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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