If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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