he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
