Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
