Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
