you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
