yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
