i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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