Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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