I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
