She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
