so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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