So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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