Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
